The Five Mistakes Married Women Make at SmartMoney.com

Posted 8:01 AM EST October 22, 2008

Posted by: tisktisk

O.k I know I am going to take a hit for this but here goes. While I am a person of equal rights, I do believe that the order of the house, God put man as the head of the woman therefore the head of the house.
I am a woman in which I have been married almost 18 years. In the beginning, probably like majority of marriages, I had the perfect marriage. We both got up went to work and our children went to daycare. After 12 years of marriage, my husband all of a sudden quits his job and has not worked a steady job since, this has been the last 6 years. While I have been the primary breadwinner, it has not been by choice. I have asked him to leave, in which he came back stating he was going to do better. He didn't. Just last year I found out he was a drugatic which explained why when he did work he did not contribute to the finances. We argue constantly. There was a time when I left figuring if I left the bills would not get paid forcing him to get a job and handle the finances. Did that ...(Read more of this comment)

Posted 11:54 AM EST August 27, 2008

Posted by: mebuildit

Well I know that I'm going to get ripped for this but here goes. I don't see why women are all upset about losing thier a** when it comes to divorce. Guys seem to get the short end of the stick MOST every time. More times than none a woman can take 1/2 or more of the net worth of the marriage. Plus if the woman does not work, then comes alimony. Now before you get all upset think about it, how many people do you know a woman who has been or is going to be divorced say 'I'm taking him for what he is worth, he owes me'.
I'm sure this has been said in various ways with the same end result. The man is going to pay. Now realizing this isn't ALWAYS true it is in most cases.
I remember when women wanted equal rights, but when push comes to shove, most women want a man to take care of them.
Now here is the other type of woman 'The Gold Digger' she marries a guy for a set amount of time, has her a little fling on the side while the guy works. Now after a couple of yea...(Read more of this comment)

Posted 11:47 AM EST July 30, 2008

Posted by: raisnemonmyown

This article hits home for me on a very deep level. I am currently awaiting for my wife to just sign the divorce papers, the agreement has already been approved and I personally did not ask for anything from her except that she pay back child support arrears owed. I was married for 21 years to my high school sweetheart we had dated 3 years prior to being married. I spent 4 years in the US Navy at which time we were blessed with two beautiful daughters. After the tour of duty I sought life as a civilian because we were both military brats and I didn't want to choose that for my career especially in the Navy to much away time. I found a job delivering materials for a wholesale company and worked my way up through the ranks in a timely fashion. During the rough times while both my wife and I worked I worked two jobs on full time another part time to make ends meet and I continued my education going to school at night when I didn't work. The whole goal was to position ourselves so m...(Read more of this comment)y wife could stay home with the children. She is a federal employee working for the army corp of engineers. After 10 years in the industry in which I worked I had started making a decent enough salary so the two jobs were no longer necessary. Finally by 2000 I was in a position as a manager that my wife had the option to quit working, which would have been great because our family size had increased from 2 children to 5. My wife decided to keep her job because she wanted us to have a bigger home and the materialistic things by which most value as their success. In 2002 I came down with a neurological disorder Huntingtons Chorea and was no longer able to work. In 2004 my wife approached me with an option to help us out of the financial strain my disability had caused. She volunteered to take a position of temporary duty in Afghanistan working with the Army stating she would make 4x what she was making in the states. I didn't agree with it because of fear that due to my condition I wasn't sure I could care for the four children still at home, the youngest being 4. She left anyway 2 months later she calls to say she left because she had realized for some time (years) she wasn't in love with me anymore and needed more from a man then I could offer financially. She was deployed for 9 months during which time I never received any financial support but had all the incurred debt which I am still paying for. After she came back she moved to another city and saw her children whenever it was convienent for her still no support. She took another tour to Iraq shortly after but prior to this departure I filed for divorce only because she wouldn't stating she did not want to be the bad guy?!
I was awarded child support at that time and she was assessed with owing back child support only for the time she didn't pay when I filed so for two years my children did without. But enough of the rambling sob story the point is is that I agree with one of the earlier posts which stated whether man or woman when it comes to parting with 'their' money it no longer is viewed as what is best for the children because greed sets in and it is sad. My wife refuses to sign the divorce papers because she does not feel that it is fair that she pays back child support especially since she just realized that the unpaid arrears accumulate interest. She has once again deployed to Iraq against her children's pleas not to go and now has extended for two more years. The judge holds juristiction on alimony which I don't care about but I am wondering should I take what I can get since she has abandoned all responsibility of her children? Any advice would be appreciated.(Show less of this comment)

Posted 12:45 PM EST June 23, 2008

Posted by: joselin1020

I have been married for almost 9 years, my marriage is already irrevocable, I have 3 kids,My husband and ex-husband to be is always telling me that where we live, is his house because he bought it Under his name, when he was single. But I have been living after got married ever since. My question to this can he through me out of the house, just because is his house... and the house needs a lot of repair, from termites, etc......until I leave his House would not be able to repair...........he said so????????..............

Posted 10:06 AM EST June 23, 2008

Posted by: bluegogo

I hear woman with a sour tone about having to paying child support and alimony.
I've also heard this same complaint from men.
Men and woman have a problem and it's greed and thats all.
I have witnessed woman take everything from a hard working man and good father.
I've also seen a man leave a hard working,good mother homeless.
people need to be fair with each other and get over their self made problems.
Be happy with the person they have chosen to create the mess that they have or not complain about what it cost them to get out of it.
I'm a father of 3,divorced,gave the house to her,was asked to have the children live with me full time,never received child support.
I did it because I care about people I love

Posted 8:55 AM EST June 23, 2008

Posted by: shonnons

To make a long story short, just after our son was born 2 ? years ago my husband, with my support, quit his job to find a better pay and start his own business. The idea was eventual I could be a stay at home mom. When his business did not workout he decided to become a real estate agent under my strong protest. That was a year ago and he still has not sold a house. Our son spends all day at grammas house so I can work 50 hour a week to keep a roof over our head.
The only reason I don?t leave the lazy guy is because I have talk to lawyers who have warred me; that I am going to have to pay spousal support, lose the house I bought before we were marred and most importantly he could go for custody of our sun. Apparently because a real estate agent could potentially have more flexibility to stay home with a child, although he dos not now, making it possible for him to get custody.
Moral of the story don?t be to supportive of your husband or you could be screwed.

Posted 1:04 AM EST June 05, 2008

Posted by: courgage

As an addendum to my last comment:

Women have a fall back position. The career thing isn't working? well just trade it in and become a traditional dependent wife and to hell with whatever havoc you may have wrought along the way. You can't have it both ways.

Posted 1:03 AM EST June 05, 2008

Posted by: courgage

I am in the midst of a divorce. Early in our marriage I made major sacrifices in my career to accommodate my wife's career goals. My career has suffered and my wife has now grown weary of the primary breadwinner role so she sought out a married man to have an affair with who makes 5 times what I make and who would not and did not make any such accommodations for his own wife's career advancement (and yes he is still married). My wife makes 4 x what I make. My career suffered when we moved 8 yrs ago from a place that I earned 25% more than what I earn now. So yes I am seeking alimony and child support. Since making the move I have been the primary caregiver to our children and I have become the dependent spouse (the wife). Something I regret. The answer? Avoid women who have equal or greater earning potential like they have a communicable disease.

Posted 11:50 AM EST March 15, 2008

Posted by: happy2bfree

There are some real freaky men out there. The ones that hide behind their wives purses should be hung up by their family jewels. And then once the woman smartens up and realizes she has been living with a dead beat, he stands up and says help me some more! Most than likely these guys are closet gays - trust me I have seen it happen far too many times, like men, however, need a woman to take care of them... truly disjusting if you ask me. These are the gays that give gays a bad name.

Posted 5:09 AM EST December 12, 2007

Posted by: gray121

This article is written for women by women, part I of the she-devil almanac. For years divorced men have been stripped financially by greedy ex-spouses. It's become the acceptable thing to do. Why now are we bringing to light the same problem reversed on the opposite gender. This article should tell people, not just women how to avoid greedy ex's. Good advice, but very gender biased.

Posted 5:41 PM EST November 15, 2007

Posted by: BBFmail

Holding on to the house we purchased together was the best investment I ever made. I was able to buy husband out of the house. I'd read that it is best for children who have been through their parents divorce to stay in the home if at all possible. I think it was some sort of psychology book that gave me that information. The article said that changing residence, schools, friends, etc, would add more stress on the children after a divorce. I took that advice. The house which we'd paid $40,000 for sold for $498,000. There's no way I could have saved that amount myself. I would never give anyone the advice of not holding on to your home if at all possible.

Posted 8:50 AM EST October 23, 2007

Posted by: queenphil

Women be warned: Always look out for your financial picture: your strong financial future is for your children's benefit. The husband may not have your best interest or the family's best interest at heart. As awful as it sounds: BE VERY LEARY OF SUPPORTING A SPOUSE. YOU COULD BE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR A SPOUSAL SUPPORT LIABILITY SITUATION ALA KEVIN FEDERLINE. NOT EXACTLY WHAT YOU HAD IN MIND IS IT? DEMAND A WRITTEN AGREEMENT IF YOU ARE TO BE THE SOLE BREADWINNER.

Posted 10:47 PM EST October 20, 2007

Posted by: mt1234

Placed checking, savings acct... with husband's name OR my name on the accounts per advise of our lawyer. My husband cleaned out our joint savings acct and placed it all in his name only savings acct at the same bank. Since it stated OR the bank acct said I couldn't do anything! Since 911 per the bank, I can not have my name added unless he comes in and says it is o.k. So I have the car titles etc... hidden now! He refuses to do a Will!

Posted 2:20 PM EST October 19, 2007

Posted by: coachjb17

This article is a sad. Sad because of all the divorce that is taking place, because men have given over their position as head of household in too many homes, and because children are missing out on having their mother raise them as she pursues her 'important' career. If you want to work great, don't have children! If you think it doesn't impact kids observe at your child's school kids are messed up and their parents have abandoned them in day care centers leaving someone else to do their job.

Posted 6:51 PM EST October 18, 2007

Posted by: sul;y07

It is not selfish to put more money towards your retirement than saving for the kids college. You can take out loans for college. YOU CAN NOT take out loans for your RETIREMENT.

Just because you have the mind set that you will always be married, does your spouse? What happens if he/she meets someone else and they leave you? Would you still want to be married if you found out your husband was...wearing your dresses...a child molester? What would be the line you would draw?

Posted 4:35 PM EST October 18, 2007

Posted by: 1inswoman

I'm divorcing after 2 yrs. My spouse owned our primary home before we married. But the down payment for our weekend home; manufactured home; came out of an inheritance from my mother's death. The home is on his grandfathers land & now he's telling me he'll not pay any of the down payment or equity to me because I gave him the money to buy it so it is now his family's Also that manufactured homes have no equity. I guess I need to contact an attorney

Posted 8:23 AM EST September 07, 2007

Posted by: rcc90

It's sad that people don't think about the effect of divorce on their kids. If they thought about their kids and not themselves then they would not end of in the mess. I find that many adults are SELFISH - either one or both parties. In many cases, divorce is the only option. However, I would look hard at the situation and think about your kids first and now how YOU feel. You are creating a road of heartbreak for your children.

Posted 12:28 PM EST September 06, 2007

Posted by: kaoldt

I am a stay-at-home mom, no income, no bank account. Every penny I need comes from my husband. He works here in the US on a visa, I don't qualify. I can't even get a 'work at home' job(if any real ones exist) because I can't have an income. When we got married I had no idea his credit was bad and he ruined mine. I don't answer the phone - I'm tired of getting yelled at by creditors. I didn't run up any of the bills. But I'm sure if anything happens to him I'm pretty much screwed, right? Tina

Posted 12:35 PM EST September 05, 2007

Posted by: jprandle

And Henry...
Let me tell you something. My ex-husband rarely held down a job during our marriage - I supported us and paid day care because he was too busy surfing porn to care for our daughter. When I divorced him, I spent every last dime to get physical custody. Why? Because I love my daughter. Period. And guess what? My ex is $15k behind in support - in other words, he rarely pays anything. So if you think it's about child support, get your head out of your rear end.

Posted 11:39 AM EST September 05, 2007

Posted by: jprandle

Catina,
It seems as though you are thinking more about free time for the parents, rather than the childrens' well being. Unless the parents live in the same school district - which in my observations is extremely rare - children who get bounced back and forth each week experience numerous problems, instability being at the top of that list. Divorce is bad enough without causing this kind of stress on the children.

Posted 11:27 AM EST September 05, 2007

Posted by: heatherjlc

food4thot
Nope. Not ex. Have been married 17 years. Just kissed him goodbye before leaving for work this morning. Guess that means he is my soulmate.
Never planned for a divorce. Planned for the possibility of one. Never happened, even thought there have been times it COULD have.

Posted 11:54 PM EST September 04, 2007

Posted by: food4thot

heather

Don't you mean 'ex' hubby? If I had to guess, you probably heard that quote from your divorce attorney. Glad your kids are doing well.

IMO if you pre-plan your marriage around the possibility of divorce, you are setting it up for failure before it ever begins. Protecting myself from financial ruin was the farthest thing from my mind b4 I proposed and long after she accepted. By your doctrine, I guess that makes me a real dumbazz.

Good luck in finding your next soulmate.

Posted 11:10 PM EST September 04, 2007

Posted by: food4thot

catina

I agree, kids are a lot of work...but also a great joy. I bought a house a ? mile from my ex?s just so my kids could visit whenever they wanted.

I asked my ex for split custody (which would seem fair in a divorce)...one week on, one week off, but she wouldn't budge without me taking it to trial and costing our settlement another $60-100K in legal fees.

Women have men over a barrel in divorce court...no way the guy wins unless she?s a total basket case.

Posted 5:57 PM EST September 04, 2007

Posted by: catinablenda

What I find difficult to undertstand is why anyone would want full custody of the children. As much as I love my kids, they are hard work even with 2 full time parents, especially when trying to manage a career as well. I am all for shared custody. The children benefit by having equal time with both parents, the burden and joys are shared equally and it gives both parents an opportunity to have time on their own..something I havent had in 20 years of marriage.

Posted 5:05 PM EST September 04, 2007

Posted by: heatherjlc

food4thot
BTW -- Hubby finds my emasculating buzzsaw quite attractive and endearing in certain conditions -- particularly on those occasions I have been called upon to do collections from the deadbeats who refuse to pay the bills generated from his business :)
I have my own gig, but enjoy assisting with his sometimes.

Posted 5:01 PM EST September 04, 2007

Posted by: heatherjlc

food4thot
BTW -- I WAS a stay at home mother. I worked nights, weekends and ran an in home day care facility to make my own money, cuz' I felt better that way and I needed the stimulation.
I just went back to work last year, when my oldest started college and my youngest turned nine. They are well adjusted, happy and mostly A students.
Keep that sense of humor. Hindsight is indeed 20/20.
I'm not saying don't get hitched, I 'm saying plan for all contingencies.
Satisfied?

Posted 4:59 PM EST September 04, 2007

Posted by: heatherjlc

food4thot
ME! I'm sure I heard it from somewhere ... but that's what I have always quoted to my girls when they wanted to wear 'prostitot' clothes and my son wanted to get another video game.

Posted 4:58 PM EST September 04, 2007

Posted by: heatherjlc

Yep. A real jerk, me. Proud of it.
HEY: I don't have the prenup, HE does. It protects him from my evil self, not the other way around.

Posted 4:09 PM EST September 04, 2007

Posted by: forkids2

For TheAngelic1..I know what is involved in raising children. I am a happy married woman with 2 children. I also know what they cost. It CAN be split evenly. You are right about the custodial parent having to dish out first, but they also have the BENIFIT of being with the children more. You have to take the good with the bad. Cash makes people greedy. Taking care of the children should be what it is all about. Cash is more like a paycheck and there is no accountablity for where the money goes.

Posted 3:24 PM EST September 04, 2007

Posted by: forkids2

For TheAngelic1..I know what is involved in raising children. I am a happy married woman with 2 children. I also know what they cost. It CAN be split evenly. You are right about the custodial parent having to dish out first, but they also have the BENIFIT of being with the children more. You have to take the good with the bad. Cash makes people greedy. Taking care of the children should be what it is all about. Cash is more like a paycheck and there is no accountablity for where the money goes.

Posted 12:22 AM EST September 04, 2007

Posted by: food4thot

LOL heather!

'And I quote 'the one who does the payin' does the sayin' '.'

May I ask the source of that quote?

From my experience, the premise of that saying only applies in cases where the wife makes more than her husband.

Posted 11:53 PM EST September 03, 2007

Posted by: food4thot

just 4 u, heatherjlc

You are wise. I wish that you had been there to give me that advice 22 years ago. I have to give you credit. At least you worked. How are your kids doing thru all of this?

Ur right, I am whining. Whining for justice. This entire ordeal has been mind-blowing. I am not out to screw anyone. I just want the court to abide by the divorce decree I signed and stop rewriting it in favor of my ex

BTW I pity any decent guy that gets in the path of your emasculating buzzsaw

Posted 11:20 PM EST September 03, 2007

Posted by: Cas345

Be leery of some attorneys. My ex paid $22,500 more for our divorce than I. Sad part is, we ended up with EXACTLY what we had agreed upon prior to filing (joint physical custody, 50/50 division of all assets, & he'd pay child support based on half of day-care since we worked). Instead, he hired an attorney who promised full custody, the house, & support from me though I made less. His attorney made divorce ugly & put undo stress on our children w/ hiring mediators to interview our children.

Posted 11:12 PM EST September 03, 2007

Posted by: Cas345

Be leery of some attorneys. My ex paid $22,500 more for our divorce than I. Sad part is, we ended up with EXACTLY what we had agreed upon prior to filing (joint physical custody, 50/50 division of all assets, & he'd pay child support based on half of day-care since we worked). Instead, he hired an attorney who promised full custody, the house, & support from me though I made less. His attorney made divorce ugly & put undo stress on our children w/ hiring mediators to interview our children.

Posted 11:12 PM EST September 03, 2007

Posted by: Cas345

Be leery of some attorneys. My ex paid $22,500 more for our divorce than I. Sad part is, we ended up with EXACTLY what we had agreed upon prior to filing (joint physical custody, 50/50 division of all assets, & he'd pay child support based on half of day-care since we worked). Instead, he hired an attorney who promised full custody, the house, & support from me though I made less. His attorney made divorce ugly & put undo stress on our children w/ hiring mediators to interview our children.

Posted 10:40 PM EST September 03, 2007

Posted by: Cas345

Be leery of some attorneys. My ex paid $22,500 more for our divorce than I. Sad part is, we ended up with EXACTLY what we had agreed upon prior to filing (joint physical custody, 50/50 division of all assets, & he'd pay child support based on half of day-care since we worked). Instead, he hired an attorney who promised full custody, the house, & support from me though I made less. His attorney made divorce ugly & put undo stress on our children w/ hiring mediators to interview our children.

Posted 9:18 PM EST September 03, 2007

Posted by: Ravensfare

To food4thot

If you think that MI is bad, be thankful your not in NJ. My husband is still paying for his son who is 20 and engaged to be married. This is happening because he is still in college

Posted 4:49 PM EST September 03, 2007

Posted by: Dogfart

heatherjlc really needs to take a look at herself. Her comments mirror her own anger, hatred and ignorance. The information in this article is very useful and important to couples and individuals that range from financially experienced to financially inept. My guess is heatherjlc is the later. If you come away with anything from this story it should be 'remain involved with your finances regardless of who is managing them.'

Posted 10:37 AM EST September 03, 2007

Posted by: littlegreendog

If you have to create a prenup, then maybe you should not be getting married. Why not create a plan for a sucessful marriage instead of a plan of what to do if the marriage fails? The article does nothing but make marriage look bad and gives the impression that couples should not work as a team, but rather as individuals.

Posted 2:28 AM EST September 03, 2007

Posted by: thegreatturtle

heatherjlc,

You're a jerk. Your mean words throw up so many barriers that you lose your intended audience, and are hateful and misspent. You spit advice which is nothing more than a chance for you to get your anger out without solving anything. And ?the one who does the payin' does the sayin?? What an arrogant, unhelpful, and small thing to say. Maybe you should tell the stay-at-home moms to shut up and cook, resting comfortably on that prenup.

Posted 2:06 AM EST September 03, 2007

Posted by: thegreatturtle

heatherjlc,

You're a jerk. Your mean words throw up so many barriers that you lose your intended audience, and are hateful and misspent. You spit advice which is nothing more than a chance for you to get your anger out without solving anything. And ?the one who does the payin' does the sayin?? What an arrogant, unhelpful, and small thing to say. Maybe you should tell the stay-at-home moms to shut up and cook, resting comfortably on that prenup.

Posted 1:54 AM EST September 03, 2007

Posted by: thegreatturtle

heatherjlc,

You're a jerk. Your mean words throw up so many barriers that you lose your intended audience, and are hateful and misspent. You spit advice which is nothing more than a chance for you to get your anger out without solving anything. And ?the one who does the payin' does the sayin?? What an arrogant, unhelpful, and small thing to say. Maybe you should tell the stay-at-home moms to shut up and cook, resting comfortably on that prenup.

Posted 12:41 AM EST September 03, 2007

Posted by: heatherjlc

Just for you, food4thot

Stop whining. It's your own damn fault for not prior planning. No one goes in w/o a prenup, except total whinging idiots. Then, you add to your 'story' with soul-sucking in-laws, working ungodly 'who knows where in what department' hours and UFOs. X-Files, anyone? Grow up already. I also have been married 17+ years and stay exactly where I am b/c it's stupid not to.

Posted 9:00 PM EST September 02, 2007

Posted by: heatherjlc

Three words, gentlemen. Draconian prenuptial agreement.
Have one. Asked for it. Glad I did so.
No regrets. This philosophy has more than once helped me override my emotion with cold stone logic. It's either about the love and the sound financial planning or nada and someone gets hosed.
BTW -- he came from money. Still works hard to earn it, but I make more. And I quote 'the one who does the payin' does the sayin' '.

Posted 5:17 PM EST September 02, 2007

Posted by: CasualReader

Ahahahaha put as much money as you can into your IRA, even if that means saving less for your childs college education.

I'm looking out for NUMBER 1! I'll live the good life when I'm too old to walk unassisted! I'll travel the world when I'm a crotchety old goat who pisses everyone else off! Wheeee!

Posted 2:43 PM EST September 02, 2007

Posted by: snickerdoodle9

Hi:
In response 2 Aug 28 2nd post :
seems that getting married these days is a mistake growing bigger as time passes because conveience of what's in it 4 (ME) rather than the purpose of LOVE, COMMITMENT to one another and TRUST. I'm a babyboomer whose been there done that . After reading some of the comments on this page remaining 'happily single' is definitely the better choice for me financially and having peace of mind :)!

Posted 1:10 PM EST September 02, 2007

Posted by: EddaRuss

Might as well be preparded for divorce before getting married :) What about the kids? I guess having 2 or 3 daddies and mommies these days is not an issue. But so many people let it happen that if you are opposed to even the concept of divorce they attack you for going against the grain. A society is judged by the way it treats it's children. Yes there are reasons for divorce but not at the rates that are occurring in the US. Thank you lawyers for being there :)

Posted 1:05 PM EST September 02, 2007

Posted by: EddaRuss

Might as well be preparded for divorce before getting married :) What about the kids? I guess having 2 or 3 daddies and mommies these days is not an issue. But so many people let it happen that if you are opposed to even the concept of divorce they attack you for going against the grain. A society is judged by the way it treats it's children. Yes there are reasons for divorce but not at the rates that are occurring in the US. Thank you lawyers for being there :)

Posted 11:16 PM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: 3NiGmA

You want an easy way around child support, or you don't trust your spouse to use the money properly...buy groceries, pay bills, etc...it also gives you a chance to see your kids assuming 'she' got custody. Plus, paying the phone bill can be a useful tool; if you catch my drift. These things can be arranged in the courts.

Posted 11:13 PM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: 3NiGmA

Last but not least; it is not the MAN's sole responsibility to support the family. Not in this country; not any more. If you want a divorce, then you best get a job; because once you cease to reside under the same roof; you cease being supported by each other.

Posted 11:08 PM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: 3NiGmA

Child support is an entirely different topic; however, if it must be brought up; let me say that it is the parents duty no matter what grievances or disputes rage between them to provide a secure and safe environment for their children. A spouse that takes this opportunity to abuse the court system in order to seek out revenge or to merely reap the rewards; don't deserve the air they breath.

Posted 10:59 PM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: 3NiGmA

First of all, I would like to say that this lady had no right to her husband?s stocks, bonds, IRAs, or whatever else he had previously or during the marriage for that matter; obtained. It is her own fault. It is for this reason I will never BUY a home and all of my assets are in off-shore accounts or safety deposit boxes. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife, but I would assume burn everything I have than turn it over to her in a divorce.

Posted 9:56 PM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: food4thot

My ex played the divorce as the ?best thing for our kids? to them, to her family, and to our friends. The fact is?the only one that made out was my ex.

This ends my rant and I?ve only scratched the surface. I have enough material to write a best seller or a great screenplay.

Beware of the narcissists in your life. They will suck the life right out of you and then point their finger at you to their new friends. They have very few old friends.

Thank you for this venting opportunity

Posted 9:39 PM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: food4thot

I wish I could afford an attorney, but the court system is bleeding me dry and giving my money to my deceitful ex. I have little of my 401K & IRA money left?both of which are bankruptcy protected. But I?m too proud to file bankruptcy?I?m gonna ride this out, pay the taxes & penalties, and am resigned to working until I die?and that?s okay with me. I?m looking forward to next May when my alimony ends and my life will be my own after 5 years of hell.

Posted 9:38 PM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: food4thot

More strangeness. My ex?s 53 year old bro moved into a spare bedroom shortly after I moved out 3 years ago. He?s in perfect health and looks 5-10 years younger than his age. He made a statement a few years ago, ?I will never work again!? He?s the Detroit chapter ?minister? of a cult known as the Aetherius Society. To put things in perspective, their key fundamental belief is in UFO?s. My ex claims no income from her bro. Whata life! Free housing AND he drives a free car from his dad!

Posted 9:37 PM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: food4thot

IMO?my story is stranger than fiction. My off-the-boat Italian ex-father-in-law flies in from San Diego once a month. While in town, he stays in my home instead of with any of his 4 kids. My ex?s only sister supports me fully and hasn?t spoken to my ex since the divorce while referring to my ex as the ?Put?na?. Since my ex?s mom died in 96, her family has EXPLODED. My ex?s mom was the kindest person I?ve ever met?bar none.

Posted 9:36 PM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: food4thot

The divorce. I got stripped from seeing my kids everyday. I got stripped of the beautiful 3000 sq-ft house I general contracted and literally spent thousands of hours building and maintaining, while my ex was allowed to keep it in the divorce. I got stripped of my parent?s money. I got stripped of most of my dedicated and faithful hard work for my family.

Posted 9:35 PM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: food4thot

My ex?s background. Marketing degree from Michigan State with a sub 3 GPA. Quit her job at her sister?s travel agency in 89, after which I bore the financial load for our family until she filed. Started a non-profit nutrition organization which I funded and FULLY supported. It never brought one dime into our household?but it found her a boyfriend that had beat his ex-wife. Though home all day citing the kids as taking so much of her time while they were at school, she hired a housekeeper.

Posted 9:35 PM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: food4thot

My background. I was married 17 years. I have worked 50-60+ hours/week since 1983 in the automotive industry until the recent MI economic downturn. I have taken on side contract design jobs, once spending 4 straight months of my ?free time? in the basement working on one project?I had no weekends off. I went almost 6 years without more than a 4-day weekend off, including the Christmas/New Years week?while my ex flew to San Diego to visit her parents a number of times during that period.

Posted 9:32 PM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: food4thot

Division of assets. My ex-father-in-law made my ex and her 3 siblings each 17% partners of a shopping center he owns (her share conservatively valued at around $500K right now) just a few years before she filed. The wording in the agreement precluded his kid?s spouses from ever having title to that property?that was fine by me b4 and after the divorce. But why my ex was allowed to take a big chunk of my mom?s inheritance and my 401K is still a mystery to me.

Posted 9:31 PM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: food4thot

Division of assets. My mom died 5 years before my ex filed and left us $225K. All of that money got absorbed into our household?paying off old debt, new furniture for most of the house, vacations, $5K diamond studs for my ex, new vehicle for her, etc. I got $2000 worth of power tools and some home equity, but she walked off with more than half of my mother?s inheritance when she filed for divorce?and the court didn?t bat an eye.

Posted 9:31 PM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: food4thot

Spousal support and division of assets under MI?s ?no-fault? system are other hot topics for me. By our decree, spousal support is modifiable based on our relative incomes. My income has decreased and my ex?s has increased?both substantially. Again, our female FOC referee rewrote the decree claiming the wording was too vague and successfully denied my request for a reduction to the female judge.

Posted 9:30 PM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: food4thot

I have no problem with paying child support...they are MY kids and MY responsibility. But 3 years after I signed the divorce decree, our female FOC referee rewrote the terms governing CS and the female judge bought it. I had gone in for a reduction because my oldest of 4 kids turned 18 and my income had decreased in MI's economy...they instead raised my prior obligation for 4 kids by $100 a month for the remaining 3 kids. Unlike most D dads, I have my kids for 1/3 of the time. I?m lucky.

Posted 9:29 PM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: food4thot

I?m climbing on my soapbox as representative for truly decent people everywhere, regardless of gender.

I don't have statistics, but the Oakland County MI divorce court system must rank in the top 100 best places in the country for women to file for divorce...their female bias is blatant. It is a system run mostly by women, for women. There is no justice for men here unless the mother is drug or alcohol addicted. ALL dads are BAD dads unless the mother is proven worse in the OC system.

Posted 11:47 AM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: SAhomeMom

Let's be real. What if the father/mother could pay into the account for pre-authorized bills only. You would be satisfied that the money was for the children's needs. It is time to realize that a divorce is the same as a firing. Which is the point of the article - keep your identity. Plan divorce just like you plan retirement; death of a spouse or loss of the job. It is not a trust issue between spouses; it is a reality issue for the children.

Posted 10:20 AM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: Cas345

I believe the suggestions in this article bring up very important points for both married men and women. They can help not only in married and divorce situations, but also in the event of an unexpected death. Child support is no joke, it is often a necessary evil. Most women/men who receive child support do not abuse it and utilize it to pay the mortgage, school events, clothes, daycare, food, etc. Grouping together all those that receive child support as 'bad' people just shows ignorance.

Posted 10:03 AM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: VicMann

According to Debito Arudou, in Japan divorce sometimes forces the divorcing spouse to make the other spouse look 'evil' if the other spouse does not want a divorce. See: http://www.debito.org/whattodoif.html#divorce

By Henry88: 'but I think you have missed out on what happens to the father. You made it sound like he is the one that is the bad guy. '

The article states that the same financial trap occurs with men AND women.

Posted 9:26 AM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: littlegreendog

Child support is a joke. Most women want a free ride through life. My sister in law is one of them. She has 5 kids by four different men & receives $4000 a month in combined food stamps, child support & welfare. She lives rent free with her boy toy. Her kids are on the state healthcare system. She frequents bars, eats out nightly, gets her nails & hair done weekly, tans regularly & buys new clothes (she believes yard sales are for the poor.) No job & yet she complains of not having any money!

Posted 1:59 AM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: werdy

If you hate your ex, you're a bad parent. Sorry, it's true. You may have a reason to hate them, but you have to let it go for the sake of your children. 'Oh I hate them but my kid doesn't know that.' Yes, your child does. Forgive, forget, and move on, because that extra 50 bucks a month you may win in a lawsuit is going to make your kid's life hell. Hate is pervasive and cannot be hidden no matter how clever you may think you are. The result of all this bickering over money will hurt your kids.

Posted 1:58 AM EST September 01, 2007

Posted by: werdy

SavyInquirer says it all: please commit to memory that no matter how much you love your children...if you openly hate your ex-spouse, your children WILL pay the ultimate consequences

Posted 9:26 PM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: tanyataulaihill

Here's an idea for all of you people out there. How about you get married with the intention of STAYing married. So many people today get married and divorce without a second thought. If you are going to take the vows, then sharing money should not be an issue. TILL DEATH DO US PART!

Posted 5:39 PM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: HQPustule

What's so bad about not having a personal credit identity? The worst thing the article could come up with was that you'd only be eligible for a high-rate credit card. So? If you're smart enough to make a budget and live within it, the rate never comes into play. A much bigger mistake than allowing your credit identity to disappear is having such a huge credit footprint that you're paying enough in interest each month to put an entire third-world country through four years of university.

Posted 4:41 PM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: mom_of_two

10 yr gap between kids. My first daughter's father doesn't pay child support. I struggled to pay for my daughters normal support (WITHOUT his help). My second child's father does pay child support. I am saying men and women alike should always make sure the well being of their child is taken care of. I always make sure my kids see their dads even when the child support doesn't come in, because they NEED their dad as much as they need me. The CHILDREN ALWAYS comes first!

Posted 3:53 PM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: soon2bmarried

***correction***

I am offering to release him from CHILD support. There is no spousal support involved.

Posted 3:49 PM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: soon2bmarried

I am a forty-four year old, professional male and will be married in November. I am marrying into a divorcee's life. She has custody of a 10 year old girl. I suggested that we release her ex from spousal support. I am doing this because I can. If more folks (men AND women) would stop the ME, ME, ME worries and focus on what they can DO to HELP the situation, the better off EVERYONE will be.

Posted 3:48 PM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: SavvyInquirer

finally..

...self-hate and the belief that they are on their own. And, in this dangerous world, no child should ever feel alone ESPECIALLY when they have two wonderful parents that love them.

Posted 3:47 PM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: SavvyInquirer

cont'd

Women AND Men take care of yourselves, love yourselves and if the marriage comes to a screeching halt, try to focus on the love you once shared and how you have grown from the experience - not how you can hurt each other. So, if you learned nothing else from what I say, please commit to memory that no matter how much you love your children...if you openly hate your ex-spouse, your children WILL pay the ultimate consequences

Posted 3:46 PM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: SavvyInquirer

cont'd

My brother is safe an extremely successful now - he doesn't try to hurt himself anymore but anytime he is sad I fear the worst because all I can see in my mind's eye is that 8 year old that felt so insignificant that he decided that the world would be better off without his beautiful smile and kind heart.

Posted 3:46 PM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: SavvyInquirer

cont'd

So very sad that with all of this love...two children felt unloved, as a direct result of our parents hating each other. Fortunately, in my late teens and early 20s I worked past that self-loathing phase and validated myself, finally realizing how intelligent and good of a person I am. Sadder still that my parents told both my brother and I how wonderful were but it never translated because all we could see was their hate for each other.

Posted 3:45 PM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: SavvyInquirer

cont'd

My most vivid memories of childhood involve my parents hating each other, not loving my brother and I (they DID and DO love us greatly but those are not my most vivid of memories)...my brother started attempting suicide at the age of 8 - he just couldn't bear the pain of the interactions and I became a self-loathing individual that believed that my only hope was to love my brother and see that he was safe and validated.

Posted 3:45 PM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: SavvyInquirer

cont'd

in the end by saying the things they said, even though I loved them both deeply my brother and I felt that we were on our own. Now, both parents gave us love and affection BUT it was all mixed into how much they hated each other.

Posted 3:44 PM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: SavvyInquirer

cont'd

Unfortunately for my brother and I, we learned very quickly that in Daddy's house (Dad made his payments on time and in full, and even though it wasn't always enough he sent what was agreed AND helped with the extras) my mother was an evil b***** and in Mommy's house (Mom went to school my entire childhood AND worked full time) Daddy was a P.O.S...

Posted 3:44 PM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: SavvyInquirer

I am a child of divorced parents myself...I am 30 now and my parents were divorced around my 7th birthday. I have been on my own since I was 16, and I am proud of the accomplishments I have made all on my own. I think the saddest thing about the whole divorce issue (when children are involved) is how everything is communicated to the children...by the way kudos to those parents that don't bash each other...

Posted 2:06 PM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: mjaybee

The mesage from this article and from some of the angry female posts in the comments section is clear:

Men - DO NOT GET MARRIED!

Posted 2:03 PM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: LINZ78

Pallot07 how can a divorcee make you sick when usually it's only one of the person's choice? As for the article this is what's wrong with the world- we are so busy planning for a divorce couples are plotting instead of communicating. If someone is really worried about financial ruin when going into marriage, then don't get married. motherof4 - I feel the same way. My husband and I do and share everything 50/50. If something did happen, at least I had faith in my marriage.

Posted 10:12 AM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: momnnj

For Pallot07: You need to remove yourself from the 'netherworld' you live in. Divorce is a part of life, not a pretty part but a part. Not many people go into marriage thinking they will be divorced, but things happen and unfortunately in many instance kids do 'get the short end of the stick' so to speak. However, there are marriages that end and all parties, incl. kids are happy. So, save your hysterics for another forum because they are not needed or wanted here.

Posted 10:00 AM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: momnnj

For TheAngelic1, I agree about the hatred for the former lover/spouse outweighing the love and support of kids. Recently divorced and my ex asked for joint custody. And just as awthomas said after calculations were done $87 per week for two kids (not per kid)is what my kids are worth to him. Still waiting for him to begin scheduled visits and I have yet to receive a pymt from the court. In the meantime rent, food and life still goes on. Is this love of the kids or self?

Posted 9:58 AM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: Pallot07

As a child of divorce, i have little sympathy for anyone here. None of you deserve wealth or children. Divorce makes me sick, all of you make me sick, and you make your children sick too, even if you don't think you do. Look at all of you bickering about your own divorces. Disgusting. Studies show that even homes where parents fight are better than a broken one. Forget women, forget men. Children get it the worst.

Posted 9:45 AM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: Loni2

My parents taught me that education was the most important thing. I always worked very hard in school, put myself through college, and then law school, and it has paid off now. After working so hard to pay for education, I can't even imagine staying home and not putting my education to good use. I've worked since I was 12 years old and have always saved as much as I could. After watching my parents struggle because my mother stayed home, I was determined to never be dependent on anyone else.

Posted 8:34 AM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: infiniti_monte

SuzetteA: I have not complained or even mentioned my role in the 'shared parenting' of my husband. I make plenty of money and can easily take care of myself, and do! if not for me, my husband would be destitute! I just have a great deal of sympaty for fathers who try their hardest to be good parents and active in the lives of their children but are manipulated by the court system and vengeful mothers. Women can be evil creatures and divorce brings out the worst in everyone.

Posted 4:58 AM EST August 31, 2007

Posted by: awthomas

I wish I was as young, smart, strong, and wealthy as loni2. I'd bet henry88 would love to be her custodial ex. Child support is based on what the non-custodial parent earns and in the majority of cases, as amanda5569 stated, it's not much. In response to lonie2, I admire your success but sadly not every woman is in your enviable position. You could teach the rest of us how you became the strong successful person. I will listen and tell my daughters to take your advice as well.

Posted 7:13 PM EST August 30, 2007

Posted by: SuzetteA

Frankly, I have little sympathy for 2nd (or 3rd) wives and significant others money woes. If the guy you're with is strapped with alimony and child support, you obviously knew that before you got involved. He should have worked harder to keep his word to wife #1 (which would have made for a much happier financial situation for him and his family), and you should quit whining about being in a situation of your own making. In other words, put on the big girl pants and deal with your decisions.

Posted 5:04 PM EST August 30, 2007

Posted by: christilock

Men come out of these situations worse off than the women sometimes. My significant other pays 50% of his income to his ex wife plus all of his kids insurance and 70% of their medical bills. We can't hardly afford to feed the children when we have them so that his ex can have new brand name clothes, multiple computers, and go out to the bars every night. I am sorry if you are in a bad situation but that gives you no right to be so condescending to men as a whole.

Posted 4:36 PM EST August 30, 2007

Posted by: infiniti_monte

My husband's ex gets over 50 % of his net income. Plus, she is currently trying to get more! It is pathetic that he cannot afford to go to the doctor, yet his ex installs new carpet in her home and takes her children out to dinner five times per week and buy new cars every two years, etc. My husband has never missed child support payments or visitation. He would happily continue with the amount he currently pays if he could get to spend more time with his children.

Posted 4:32 PM EST August 30, 2007

Posted by: infiniti_monte

Angelic1: EVERYTHING monetary is split down the middle. My husband pay more in child support that the average worker at my company earns and he pays for HALF of all out of pocket medical, extracurricular activities, sign up fee for school and daycare registration, etc. Sounds like some women did not get very good lawyers when going through their divorces. Or (more likely) you are not an evil, vindictive psycho out to hurt the ex husband in any way you can.

Posted 4:26 PM EST August 30, 2007

Posted by: infiniti_monte

TheAngelic1: His ex's hatred for him outweighs any love for her children. She tells her children he is a bad man who does not love them, mommy loves them more, etc. All he wants is to be with his kids and all she wants is for him to pay her money and not see them. She CONSTANTLY files motions in court because she refuses to accept the agreement SHE made when they got divorced~ Every situation is different.

Posted 4:15 PM EST August 30, 2007

Posted by: infiniti_monte

Fathers have love for their children as well. Anyone who thinks 'Mom is better' or 'Mom loves the kids more' has a screw loose. It takes two to make the child and two to parent. Anyone thinking fathers are not just as important as mothers has obvious male trust issues. Maybe your daddy ran away or beat you when you were a child?

Oh, and I AM a woman. With an amazing mother AND father.

Posted 4:10 PM EST August 30, 2007

Posted by: TheAngelic1

For forkids2: I hate to tell you, but there is more involved in the raising of a child than what you suggest. It's not quite as easy as sitting down and discussing the child's expenses because of the way health insurance works, schools work and so forth. Who forks the money first when the unexpected arises? The custodial parent, that's who!!!! And can money get recooped??? Oh HEXX no!

Posted 4:09 PM EST August 30, 2007

Posted by: TheAngelic1

For henry88: Women fight hard for custody because, unfortunately, can raise a child with emotions as well as logic and responsibility. Yes, there are those women that do the welfare bit, but I can assure you, it's not quite how you think it is. Welfare does have to get paid back if ever possible. And not all women can and get welfare. And the topper to it all, if a woman/man is capable of working, every effort is made to get then in the work force.

Posted 4:08 PM EST August 30, 2007

Posted by: TheAngelic1

For infiniti_monte: You think Father's have the same love for their children as mothers do, however, I can attest to the fact that isn't always the case. Although, I'm sure my child's father does love her, his hatred for me outweighs that love and that can have a HUGE affect on things such as child support. So, in my case, the father's love plays absolutely NO role in my child's upbringing.

Posted 3:55 PM EST August 30, 2007

Posted by: infiniti_monte

Fathers have love for their children as well. Anyone who thinks 'Mom is better' or 'Mom loves the kids more' has a screw loose. It takes two to make the child and two to parent. Anyone thinking fathers are not just as important as mothers has obvious male trust issues. Maybe your daddy ran away or beat you when you were a child?

Oh, and I AM a woman. With an amazing mother AND father.

Posted 3:28 PM EST August 30, 2007

Posted by: l1puck

The expense of raising a child Should be split equally, but this is the REAL world. People think child support goes to the custodial parent, but most of the time it isn't enough for food and clothes, much less healthcare, housing, child care, etc... 'it takes a village to raise a child', but men seem to think it is all up to the mother. 'Why do women fight so hard for custody?' BECAUSE WE ARE MOM!!! Nothing takes the place of a mother's love for her children, including money.

Posted 3:26 PM EST August 30, 2007

Posted by: Loni2

Is this article a joke?? I can't believe that in the year 2007 this is the crap they write as advice to women. I am thirty years old, married, and make about 5 times as much as my husband. All of the bills are in my name and I control the finances. I can't believe that writers and publishers believe women still need advice like 'keep your job'. This is not 1955, we are not idiots, and I find this article downright offensive to women.

Posted 3:14 PM EST August 30, 2007

Posted by: l1puck

The expense of raising a child Should be split equally, but this is the REAL world. People think child support goes to the custodial parent, but most of the time it isn't enough for food and clothes, much less healthcare, housing, child care, etc... 'it takes a village to raise a child', but men seem to think it is all up to the mother. 'Why do women fight so hard for custody?' BECAUSE WE ARE MOM!!! Nothing takes the place of a mother's love for her children, including money.

Posted 3:06 PM EST August 30, 2007

Posted by: Ebbinghaus

Even though your yacht may appear seaworthy & your swimming skills impeccable, it is always wise to have a life jacket on board. And, YES, it CAN happen to YOU! (Read that again until you believe it.) Be proactive & take control of your own well-being. You deserve to treat yourself as well as you treat others. Marriage martyrs went out with the horse & buggy. First lesson: You are more valuable than you know.

Posted 1:40 PM EST August 30, 2007

Posted by: fatherof3

To motherof4 - got news for your husband, depends on where you live, but even with the house in his name you are due half the equity in the house if you divorce since the house was purchased during the marriage.

Posted 12:59 PM EST August 30, 2007

Posted by: motherof4

In 2004 I be came a stay at home mom, and when we bought our 1st home because I had no income the house was put into my husbands name, (I trusted him) Now, we have hit hard times (from the relationships stand point) due to my re-turning to work. He made it clear that this was his house not ours. As sad as it is, and while it should never be, it can happen. I was raised to believe that what is mine is yours and whats yours is mine. Is there something wrong with that?

Posted 2:58 PM EST August 28, 2007

Posted by: forkids2

No one should recieve cash for child support.When parents seperate they should be made to sit down and list the expense of the children. Each parent should be responsible for paying 1/2 of the expenses so that the children are provided for. Each expenses should be paid directly by the parent responsible instead of giving the other parent cash. This way the noncustodial parents money goes directly to the child and the custodial parent does not benifit personaly from having custody of the child.

Posted 8:54 AM EST August 28, 2007

Posted by: HMwithChildren

HM (Happily Married) I'm no expert on marriage, but I know it?s not easy. I?m a Root Cause Analyst. Band aids for symptoms of the root issue, divorce, will not solve it. Americans today find MARRIAGE easy to get into and out of it. Stay in it, I know many have divorced, there?s hope for making the next time work or even reconciling. Pre/post marital & financial counseling are well suggested preventive and corrective measures. Nothing comes easy. Marriage needs commitment & hard work.

Posted 7:59 AM EST August 28, 2007

Posted by: kim_71

Oh, and HENRY88.....reality check...child support and/or welfare DOES NOT support even half of what it takes to raise a child. Obviously you are one of the 'fathers' that shirk their parental responsibilty or you would have already known that what little the custodial parent receives isn't even a drop in the bucket to what they shell out for their children.

Posted 7:57 AM EST August 28, 2007

Posted by: kim_71

Bottom line....the #1 mistake women make to begin with is GETTING MARRIED. If you have to be with someone, fine. Live with them. But protect yourself because no one else is going to. Keep all your stuff in your name and trust no one. Because sooner or later a separation DOES turn nasty! No matter how hard either party tries to avoid that.

Posted 3:05 PM EST June 13, 2007

Posted by: jenlynn7

Harvey, let's say each parent gets 1 child. Dad got the house & collects SSI for himself & 2 kids. Mom supports him & 2 kids on her part-time pay to make ends meet. The courts told her to support him & provide support to the kid that does not live with her. She is trying to get a degree in the medical field to better herself & lives with her parents. This IS a situation that happens alot, we only ever hear of the story you like to support. Men take as much advantage to the situation as women.

Posted 12:02 PM EST June 11, 2007

Posted by: smh_harvey

Henry is right to a degree, huge double standard. Female writes article scorning males for CYA, but if it were the other way around, and this was a male saying the same thing he would be percecuted and fired. If the process was more fair to begin with people wouldn't undertake shady ways to cover themselves. Maybe the men should win custody more often and get a paycheck from the ladies. We are in the 21st century aren't we??

Posted 10:48 AM EST April 26, 2007

Posted by: okthen4863

oh henry88 - I see you know the cost of raising kids. I admit i roll in the $$ off my $500/mo 'welfare'. Well, after mortgage, utilities, luxuries like food & school clothes & daycare ($400/mo) before/after school to bust tail at work & make a better life. Perhaps you speak of a tiny % of 'welfare' moms, but please don't bring sarcasm and stupidity to a table where you have no seat.

Posted 7:08 PM EST April 09, 2007

Posted by: amanda5569

Henry88- Um hello? perhaps you did not fully read the article- While there may be women who want welfare money or as you put it child support), lets face it for every woman out there doing this, there is a man shirking his parental responsibility by not paying his part of child support or paying way too little (national average hovers somewhere around $300 a month and the average daycare can run $600-$1,000 per child, on average- child support just about buys clothes and that is it~!).

Posted 1:32 AM EST April 09, 2007

Posted by: henry88

Beautiful article, but I think you have missed out on what happens to the father. You made it sound like he is the one that is the bad guy. Why do women fight so hard for custody? hmmmmm, it wouldn't have anything to do with that welfare oops I'm sorry that child support check that comes evry week would it?

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