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Ask the lawyer how much of their practice consists of mediation. You don't want a wolf in sheep's clothing. I LOVE keeping couples out of the clutches of divorce lawyers. So far I have worked with over 200 couples and have a 100% success rate but I have never heard of that before. If you find a mediator with an 80% track record you will be in good hands. Don't waste your money on divorce lawyers, use a mediator who can tell you what the law is in a way that doesn't encourage you to fight. Aggressive lawyers are NOT watching out for their clients, they are manipulating emotionally vulnerable people so they can line their own pockets.

Belinda Rachman, Esq.

People need to work together if they are going to protect the kids and end up with more themselves. There is almost no deal that you could make with each other than wouldn't be better than fighting in court. If you have to divorce, find an experienced family law attorney (so they know what the court is likely to do) who only does mediation. I charge a flat fee of $2,500, which is a little low for California but it might be less where you live.

Belinda Rachman, Esq.

My experience with collaborative divorce is that it is too often an excuse for lawyers to generate more income than necessary. My own mediation practice proves you can do a divorce for a flat fee for a 1/10th of what they are saying. Mediation is the way to go 85% of the time. The trick is to not get caught up in the traps that too many divorce lawyers set like giving people unrealistic expectations of what they are going to get so the couple ends us fighting in court which ONLY benefits the lawyers!


Peaceful Divorce - An Idea Whose Time Has Come
Belinda Rachman, Esq.
www.divorce-inaday.com

This process could work if both parties go into it on a level playing field. My experience was constantly being threatened with court, loss of the house, kids having to be torn from their home, using more assets to fight....getting less to live on...4 hour sessions which beat me down to the point of emotional breakdowns and having to continue because of scheduling conflicts...really ended up to be three men, my lawyer, his lawyer and the Ex pressurizing me to succumb to their decision...wouldn't recommend it unless you know all your options, consulted an accountant, interviewed multiple attorneys and were well versed in corporate negotiating tactics.

I tried collaborative divorce and found it very unhelpful. The only two collaborating were the two attorneys in how they could each double bill us. While they said that my husband and I would drive the process and have control over the outcome it wasn't true. My husband and I came up with a settlement that the attorneys dragged their feet in finalizing - all so that they could get more money. Be wary of this process - mediation is the better way to go.

Adult or not. When someone commits adultery and fathers a child during the process and already has a child from the marriage. You have to protect your child and interest. Some individuals are very greedy and don't care about anyone but themselves. After all the lies, you can't trust that person, especially since they choose to live with the person that they had the affair with & left me & my child to fend for ourselves. I would rather do it the legal way since they lied and cheated during the marriage. Marriage is a convenant not a contract. Marriage is WORK. People don't even want to try & work at it. They only think of self. Such a selfish world.

Boy, if one can put all that money into a breakup, why not just get family therapy and save the money? What a crock!!! It's one thing if they are cheating on you, suck you dry, have drug abuse....but when does a relatively normal relationship hit 'divorce stage..' when you are bored with each other? SmartMoney should rename this article: how to spend more money and avoid commitment at the same time!

Married, 10 years, one child, divorced for 4 years. Separation date to Final Divorce Judgement, 6 weeks. Why so fast? Because NO Lawyers were involved! We respect each other, all to the benefit of OUR child. She left with over 400k and child support. Lawyers would have stolen money from Me, Her, and our child by starting disagreements between us, all the while billing us both! Adults need to grow up, put the child first, check your egos, get a Paralegal, and learn how to compromise.

Those divorce costs mentioned in the article are kind of mind boggling! It must be intended for divorces of couples who make 6-digit salaries or are at least well-off. For your average joe-schmoe, the $300 kit should be more than adequate if you are civil with your ex and both can agree with who gets what.

But if you live in a half a million dollar home and have 20k to blow on a 'Happy Divorce', legal advise may be what you need to seperate peacefully.

In a 'perfect world' people are able to compromise & negotiate.
When a relationship has reached the divorce stage, chances are,they could never
agree on ANYTHING, even before the marriage!
No marriage will survive, unless both partners empower each other,believe in
each other God Bless all of you, struggling with a failing relationship. Remember, Marriage requires WORK, and is not for slackers!

I agree with McMillan968. My ex-husband and I did our divorce that way and it was great. We did using a do it yourself software kit. We didn't have anything to agure about, not even visitation or custody of our child. IT really just depends on the adults and how civil you are to each other.

After a very ugly seoeration period One of my ex-wives suddenly had a change of temperment and wanting to proceed down a softer and gentler path through the court system. Come to find out what she really wanted was the other half of the nothing that she left me with.

This is typicall LAWYER BS!If the couple is even reasonably smart they are capable of filing a divorce Pro Se Liable .If the couple is that amicable why do you need a lawyer at all?Why do the children need a lawyer??Who is going to look out for the children more than their PARENTS??As long as rhey are acting RATIONALLY.A pro se divorce is under $300.00 yup thats HUNDRED!