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Women Are Seeing More Parity in Divorces
Women are achieving financial parity in divorces -- and men are paying the price.
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Posted 8:30 PM EST June 29, 2007
Posted by: theclownfish
[500 char limit so...]I'm now divorced. My ex was sleeping with the guy across the street. I have the kids well over half the time (thankfully I can schedule my work around their schedules). Yet, I still pay her support. She doesn't work and yet complains about money - and is as employable as me, she's had a 'real' job more recently then I (I work for myself). She has a law degree and is a member of the bar.
Posted 8:29 PM EST June 29, 2007
Posted by: theclownfish
The real question is why can't two ADULTS agree to an agreement (e.g. a contract) and then expect the courts to enforce it? The attitude is that women are too dumb or naive (sometimes it is the men) to be able to understand the things they are agreeing to. That is the gist of what is being argued in cases where people are attempting to invalidate a pre-nup or post-nup. Posted 11:29 AM EST June 24, 2007
Posted by: garthq985
why is it that when a woman wants to be stay at home mom,thats fine.but when a man wants to be a stay at home dad,they consider him a lazy s.o.b.woman have gotten everything in a divorce for years.they always say that the should support the kids.no,it should be 50/50.woman always complain they dont make as much as men,but woman tend to have it easier at work then men do.i dont think that they should receive any state aid,child support or alimony unless they can hold down a job,period.
Posted 11:20 PM EST June 17, 2007
Posted by: my69beers
This is frickin nuts to describe any increase in what women are awarded in divorce settlements as a move TOWARD fairness. Men have been getting screwed in divorce court for several decades now. Women just want to have their cake and eat it too. They want empowerment AND special treatment. They want all reward and no risk. American women are just too spoiled. Men have to take risks to make money, women just have to get divorced.
Posted 5:55 AM EST June 15, 2007
Posted by: Nemo1
'She probably divorced him because he was spending too much time at work.'---------------------------------------------
And she probably married him in the first place because he was a hard-worker (who could bring in the bucks - most women 'marry up' statistically).
He should have just saved time and bought her a house without marrying her.
Posted 10:13 PM EST June 14, 2007
Posted by: mortpes
The state of marriage has changed for the worse for the hardworking person. Marriage is no longer a viable goal. It is not rational to reward a lazy spouse. So if you are a hard working person do not marry.
Posted 7:57 PM EST June 14, 2007
Posted by: DCLPGL
Things you should know before you marry. . .http://www.equalityinmarriage.org/adappeal.html
Posted 7:47 PM EST June 14, 2007
Posted by: DCLPGL
New Rules for a New Generation of Marriages Gone Wildhttp://www.divorcereform.org/cla.html
Posted 7:46 PM EST June 14, 2007
Posted by: DCLPGL
New Rules for a New Generation of Marriages Gone WildThis is a proposal for legislation that would make divorce laws that are stricter than what we have now, but not as strict as what we had in the 1960s. Classic Marriage emphasizes mutual consent, rather than fault or unilateral action, as the most common way of getting a divorce. It would let couples agree to opt out of its restrictions if they have completed marriage skills training and encourages such training for all couples
Posted 5:27 PM EST June 14, 2007
Posted by: max2007
I've read about women not being able to make sound financial decisions after divorce. Why didn't these 'poor' women educate themselves? It's not fun for most men to read business news. If a SAH wife watched Oprah, why does anyone else have to pay for her choice? She's a grown up person! Would anyone worry about a man in similar circumstances? (...when he was just 55, his wife died leaving him all her fortune, but the poor guy never had to make financial decisions, because of his wife!)Posted 5:18 PM EST June 14, 2007
Posted by: max2007
If a stay-at-home wife took care of the house/kids and enabled the husband to work, then yes, she should receive 50% at settlement. However the courts ASSUME that it was the case. When a husband does a poor job his boss fires him, when a wife doesn't contribute there's no recourse.In short, the courts give women all these rights, but they do not link it to the corresponding level of responsibility. The legal system encourages divorces by making them so one-sided.
Posted 12:38 PM EST June 14, 2007
Posted by: Nemo1
One more point: It's a fiction that a long-term housewife can all of a sudden make $30,000 a year. Some can, most can't if they have sat home for 15 or 20 years. They have no skills, no ability to work with others, no inkling at all of the work world, and that applies regardless of whether they have a good university degree in something.If you want to play the hero with the dumbs!*t damsel at home, fine, but you are also going to have to pay for her if there is a divorce.
Posted 12:19 PM EST June 14, 2007
Posted by: Nemo1
kazembe,You sound exactly like my cousin. Except that 'he was never going to get divorced because he had a true partnership based on communication'.
LOL
2nd point: After the kids are in school, I have no idea why you want to support a housewife, although that's your business (or problem as the case may be). They turn into lard-assed tyrants who take everything for granted AND, believe me, you will get absolutely scorched if there is every a problem with the marriage.
Posted 12:12 PM EST June 14, 2007
Posted by: 621byron
Kazembe,Like most people, you assume that the divorce settlement will be fair and based on reasonable situations and facts. You just might want to check with your attorney to see if your 'fair' scenario is fact or fantasy in the world of 'family' court. More likely, you will see your kids every other weekend, and you will pay for all of their support. There will be no requirement that your ex will work to support the children.
Posted 12:02 PM EST June 14, 2007
Posted by: kazembe
My wife stays home and watches the kids. If we divorce, the courts should take into account all costs plus my wife'a ability to earn money by going back to work.Once costs are determined they can be divided based on percent of earnings (i..e if I make $70K and my wife can make $30K then I should pay for 70% of the cost for child care and support). My wife should get a portion of my retirement accounts from the time she stopped working to stay home with the kids until the divorce is final.
Posted 11:58 AM EST June 14, 2007
Posted by: kazembe
My wife stays home and watches the kids. If we divorce, the courts should take into account all costs plus my wife'a ability to earn money by going back to work.Once costs are determined they can be divided based on percent of earnings (i..e if I make $70K and my wife can make $30K then I should pay for 70% of the cost for child care and support). My wife should get a portion of my retirement accounts from the time she stopped working to stay home with the kids until the divorce is final.
Posted 11:37 AM EST June 14, 2007
Posted by: why?
Why get married? What benefit is there for a man to get married?
Posted 11:36 AM EST June 14, 2007
Posted by: why?
Why get married? What benefit is there for a man to get married?
Posted 9:22 AM EST June 14, 2007
Posted by: Nemo1
ECGRL:'Please don't get married, for the sake of any future potential wives you might have!'
----------------------------------------------
Those are called 'shaming tactics'. They have been used on men since time immemorial to keep them in line. 'Be a real man and ...', 'A real man would ...', 'Just be a man about it and give her the money ...'.
Men really have to wake up to the manipulation.
Posted 8:57 AM EST June 14, 2007
Posted by: Nemo1
Why the hell would any man marry today?I don't even make that much, and I'm quite a bit richer than some male friends and relatives who married and divorced.
As for courts giving more weight to stay-at-homes: No, not everyone who stays at home works in the home. Oprah and The View get high ratings for a reason. Allowing and even encouraging a woman to get rich by this path, instead of working for her money, is insane. I don't understand it, but I'm also not going to participate in it.
Posted 4:45 AM EST June 14, 2007
Posted by: DCLPGL
Extremely different divorce cases are judicated with no regard to the facts and circumstances. Judges rewarded and empowered women and emotionally and financially punished men period. Men's lives are being ruined and their children's lives are being ruined as they watch their fathers get wiped out in a bad divorces, where's the parity in that.
Posted 1:00 AM EST June 14, 2007
Posted by: ECGRL
621byron....'Never lifted a finger?' You don't count reproductive labor and all that goes into running a household and caring for childran as 'lifting a finger?' Please don't get married, for the sake of any future potential wives you might have!
Posted 6:54 PM EST June 13, 2007
Posted by: RobertDeen
This article offers an excellent explanation for the rapidly declining marriage rate in the United States.From an economic standpoint, marriage is the worst possible decision a man can make. The legal system is no longer about fairness, its purpose is to provide women with a blunt instrument to wield in the marital relationship ? ?divorce me, and I?ll take everything you ever had, or ever will have.?
Posted 5:10 PM EST June 13, 2007
Posted by: robcoolj
It is articles like these that make more and more men decide not to get married at all. Be careful what you seek because in the end, there will be no one left who will want to take the plunge. Why do it? It's entirely too risky from a financial perspective because you may get stuck making not only child support but alimony payments for decades. I guess it won't matter when you are loving high on the hog with $10,000/month coming in for doing nothing.
Posted 3:43 PM EST June 13, 2007
Posted by: fishyfishskin
She probally divorced him because he was spending too much time at work.
Posted 1:01 PM EST June 13, 2007
Posted by: henryjoe
Good subject: Yes, the payout is never fair to both parties. It seems that everybody looses in divorce, especially the children, & division of assets is always unfair to one or the other. 621byron seems to think that raising kids in a single parent home is easy, and the lack of the emotional support of the other partner is not important. Another relationship?: Swings BOTH ways. As for no responsibility. You never get away from the responsibility of your childern or your actions.
Posted 12:10 PM EST June 13, 2007
Posted by: 621byron
I think you are a little bit behind the times here. For the past twenty years, in most divorces, women get the kids and child support that can go way beyond the actual expenses incurred to raise children. In addition, they get half of assets and alimony. They may have never lifted a finger to become gainfully employed during the marriage. Why not get divorced, if you are a woman? Kids, assets, alimony, new boyfriend, no responsibility, no problem.
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Someone posted that you 'never get away from the responsibility of...your actions'. Of course you do, that is the POINT of NO FAULT DIVORCE. You can do whatever you want with your vows and commitments and then get a court to award you money to reward your behavior.
Marriage is a huge risk if you have assets that you wish to protect for children or grandchildren.