Like pigs at the trough, banks are lining up for the billions of dollars made available to them under the government's Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP). Originally conceived as a mechanism to purchase toxic mortgage assets, bailout czar Henry Paulson announced last week he's officially changing the plan and pumping your tax dollars directly into fragile financial institutions -- with or without your permission.

Over 110 smaller banks have asked for $170 billion from the Treasury while Bank of America (BAC), Wells Fargo (WFC), Citigroup (C)JPMorgan Chase (JPM) and five other large banks received $125 billion in tax dollars last month. Another $40 billion will go to troubled insurer AIG (AIG) .

The feeding frenzy is just getting started, as many struggling companies are now becoming banks just to have access to bailout dollars. On Friday, four insurance firms announced plans to buy thrifts, for no other reason than they could qualify to receive federal money.

Hartford Financial (HIG), a $3.8 billion insurance company that has seen its stock plummet from $98 to $12 has agreed to buy tiny Federal Trust Bank (FDTR) for about $10 million. In doing so, the company said it expects to be eligible for between $1.1 billion and $3.4 billion in government bailout aid. Seems a bit surreal, no?

Indeed, there is a massive, multitrillion-dollar heist afoot in America right now. Honest taxpayers are being burglarized by politicians and bureaucrats with zero transparency or accountability. You're telling me this is a better alternative to an actual free market?

The result of all the government's actions has been anything but market calm. The S&P 500's 40.5% plunge is the second worst year-to-date performance on record, despite the fact that the government is now on the hook for hundreds of billions of dollars worth of private market risk.

Hedgies Are Winning Blame Game

Despite all the accusations that hedge funds somehow caused the market meltdown, let it be noted that the major disasters -- Fannie Mae (FNM), Freddie Mac (FRE), AIG, Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers -- were all heavily regulated institutions. The average large-cap growth mutual fund, also heavily regulated, has lost 43.35% so far in 2008.

And the ultra-risky unregulated hedge funds the government is so hell-bent on controlling? According to the Credit Suisse/Tremont Hedge Fund Index, hedge funds are down 9.87% YTD, a negative performance for sure but a far better one than almost every other index on the board.

Something Sweet

In economies good and bad, Americans have a sweet tooth that's almost never satisfied. To that end, one to put on the watch list is Imperial Sugar (IPSU), a microcap processor of various sugar products under well-known consumer names like Dixie Crystals, Holly and Imperial. Shares have fallen to a recent $15 from $35 back in early 2007.

* Imperial Sugar (IPSU) -- 5 years

For a more direct play on the sweet stuff, there's iPath DJ AIG Sugar ETN (SGG), an exchange-traded note that tracks the price of sugar futures. While neither security is in a bull market, both traffic in a sweet commodity that will never go out of style, and might even boom once the market again finds its legs.

Seen at Obama's Health Club