Options, Schmoptions. Let's Talk About the Jet

After the close of trading Wednesday, the kids at Apple Computer (AAPL) who brought you translucent fruit-colored computers blew by earnings estimates, reporting a profit before nonrecurring charges of $1.00 a share, above and beyond the Wall Street consensus estimate of 89 cents. Since the announcement, shares of Apple have shot up from $106.56 to close at $113.50 Thursday.

Whatever. Strong company performance is all well and good, but there are more important things in life. If you believe Lil' Kim, it's all about the Benjamins, and on Wednesday Apple founder and recently named permanent CEO Steven Jobs got some serious Benjamins. (For the broke and/or non-rap-aware, "Benjamins" are $100 bills, which have splayed across their front the chubby cheeks of Benjamin Franklin.)

You see, because Jobs did such a nice job of bringing the Cupertino, Calif., computer conglomerate (say that three times fast) back from the dead, the company took a $90 million charge to award its CEO — who takes only $1 a year in salary — options to buy 10 million shares of company stock at last week's closing price of $98.99. Oh, and they gave him a jet — a Gulfstream V to be exact.

Options, schmoptions. Let's talk about the jet.

The Gulfstream V is the top-of-the-line mode of air transport for the personal-jet set. Costing approximately $40 million spanking new (and Jobs sure didn't get a used one off the lot), a Gulfstream V can run about $1 million a year to operate — which Jobs will be responsible for — and can cover 6,500 nautical miles before refueling (think of a nonstop trip from New York to Tokyo). It can travel up to speeds of Mach 0.885 — about 740 miles per hour — and seat between 13 and 19 people, depending on the owner's tastes in decoration. To take care of these cash-swaddled travelers, a Gulfstream V requires a crew of two or three pilots, along with a flight attendant to hand out the peanuts. As of the end of October, there were 63 in existence, with another 90 or so on order.

"It's the longest-range business jet in the world," says Keith Mordoff, a spokesman for the plane's maker, the Gulfstream Aerospace division of General Dynamics (GD). "The Gulfstream V is what we call an ultralong-range, large-cabin airplane."

Here at SmartMoney.com, a Gulfstream V is what we call a Swank Ride.

Of course, facts are nothing without perspective, so let us fill in the background. Having a Gulfstream is a huge bonus when you're trying to show up your well-heeled friends, and it puts you in a select group of fliers. According to Mordoff, some 34 governments use Gulfstreams as their equivalent of Air Force One. The real Air Force One is a Boring 747 from Boeing (BA), but when President Clinton accompanied his wife (and unannounced senatorial candidate) Hillary up to their new "home" in Chappaqua, N.Y., they flew into White Plains in a government Gulfstream — it's so much easier to land one in a smaller airport.

Having the Gulfstream V, as opposed to previous models, will at least put Jobs in a most, uh, unique group. For example, deeply tanned Australian golfer (and well-known second-place PGA tournament finisher) Greg Norman flies a Gulfstream V on the tour as he collects his silver-medal finishes (31 between 1979 and 1997; over that period, he came in first 18 times). But sadly for Jobs, the richesse of Internet moguldom means he won't be the first siliconillionaire to jet about in Gulfstream's uberjet. Oracle (ORCL) CEO Larry Ellison has one (and is suing his local airport to let him land and take off at night with it), and a month ago Broadcast.com co-founder and current Yahoo! (YHOO) executive Mark Cuban was the first Gulfstream customer to purchase an aircraft from the company over the Internet. And even Microsoft's (MSFT) Chief Technology Officer (now on leave) Nathan Myhrvold — a mere CTO on vacation — has a Gulfstream V.

At least Jobs will be able to mock some of his cohorts for living less flush lifestyles. We are of course referring to those who own the economical Gulfstream IV, which the company refers to as the "world's best-selling large-cabin business jet." (Sounds like the aircraft equivalent of the Dodge Caravan, if you ask us.) These days, there are over 400 flying copies of this jet-for-the-masses, which can travel only 4,200 miles and costs a mere $30 million. Among those Jobs can look down his nose at (as they refuel for those really long trips) are smooth-lovin' Latin crooner Julio Iglesias and clean-pated international investment guru Mark Mobius, both owners of mere Gulfstream IVs (Mobius' is used).

For those of you who, like Mobius, have a little cash stuck behind the sofa cushions but not enough for a new IV (much less the $40 million needed for a new Gulfstream V), we suggest you visit Gulfstream's used-plane lot. They're so much more affordable.

Sadly, calls to Apple about this article were not returned, so a number of important questions remain unanswered. Will the new jet be a translucent blueberry color? Will Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak be allowed to fly in it? Most important, considering that Broadcast.com's Mark Cuban bought the perpetually horrible Dallas Mavericks NBA franchise just weeks after buying his Gulfstream V, will Jobs be stuck in a spiraling web of e-envy and i-one-upsmanship? Will Apple's board be forced to buy Jobs the grotesquely bad Golden State Warriors next?

All we can say is, please, stop the madness.