Not long ago, a group of Chinese steelworkers reacted to news of an impending layoff with an impulsive gesture: They killed their boss. Perhaps they forgot to consider who s going to give them a reference?

While a good relationship with your manager is crucial to keeping your job, it s just as important to handle the boss with care when you re leaving. A former manager can be a source of support, advice and contacts. But whether or not the departure was voluntary, many folks can t get a reference thanks to an awkward separation, says Tory Johnson, recruiting guru and author of Fired to Hired.

With roughly a third of all workers likely to leave their jobs this year, voluntarily or not, it s worth asking what constitutes a graceful exit. No matter what, if you leave voluntarily, your boss should hear the news first. The thoughtful employee schedules an in-person meeting and times it so that the boss has space to deal with the loss. (Dan Calista, CEO of health care consulting firm Vynamic, will never forget the employee who called over the weekend to announce his resignation catching Calista at the hospital right after his daughter was born.) Obviously, the initial meeting is not appropriate for a lengthy, heartfelt discussion; the worker should simply express his commitment to a smooth transition. Later, he can deliver a thank-you expressing gratitude for particular experiences. As for that transition, bosses appreciate an employee who calls clients and suppliers to explain who will be taking over, leaves contact information with colleagues and ensures voice mail and e-mail are forwarded.

Believe it or not, bosses also welcome an opportunity to advise a laid-off employee it demonstrates there are no hard feelings and shows appreciation for the boss s insight. Managers also like to keep up with laid-off employees, despite the potential for awkwardness. Holiday cards, breakfast invitations, LinkedIn connections and e-mail updates are all in order. Johnson suggests leaving a recommendation on your boss s LinkedIn profile; the gesture can spur a reciprocal exchange. But make it specific a generic Joe was the best boss! constitutes brownnosing. Above all, keep the communication regular. Vorsight CEO Steve Richard says he dislikes folks who disappear for years and then come back looking for a reference: It s a turnoff. They don t care about you.