1. Like our student/teacher ratio? It includes Hank the Janitor.

It s considered Math 101 in the education business: A smaller class size equals a better learning experience for your child. So it s no wonder that school districts are often quick to point to their cozy student/ teacher ratios as proof their schools are strictly honor-roll material. But watch out, say experts. Those numbers don t always mean what you think.

Click on the New York State Education Department s website, for instance, and you ll discover that the Pocantico Hills Central School District, a single-school district for pre-K through eighth grade in upstate New York, has a student/teacher ratio of 9-to-1. Impressive, certainly except for one thing: It isn t true. We have 20 kids to every class on average, says a spokesperson for Pocantico Hills. Why the discrepancy? Because in many states, there are simply no rules for determining the student-to-teacher stats. There s only state information, and their numbers are always lower than the real number, says Peter Lisi, former superintendent of Pocantico Hills. They put in every person, from the school psychologist to the librarian and the gym teacher.

Ronald Danforth, a former associate in Education Information Services for the New York State Education Department, says that the Pocantico Hills number is skewed because it s a tiny district (with around 350 students). That means when you include such staff as remedial teachers who generally work with groups of one to four students needing extra help the teacher pool seems comparatively large.

So where can parents get accurate information about the student/teacher ratio at their kid s school? David Paradise, of the Council of Chief State School Officers, a Washington, D.C., nonprofit that offers leadership and advocacy on education issues, says your best bet is to call the school s district office. That way, you can find out what s included in the statistic for that particular district, as well as what has been budgeted for new teacher hires.

2. Our per-pupil expenditures are meaningless .

Often the same numbers nonsense goes on with another so-called quality yardstick: per-pupil expenditures. Here the rule seems equally intuitive. More money means better school buildings and supplies, computer equipment, higher-paid teachers in short, a better education.

Or does it? Consider two New Jersey school districts: New Brunswick City, which spends $13,126 per student a year, and Woodbridge Township, which spends $10,103 per student a year. For the two consecutive school years between 2004 and 2006, about 82 percent of Woodbridge Township s middle school students met or exceeded proficiency in the language arts standardized test, and over 75 percent did so in mathematics. At New Brunswick City, on the other hand, only half the middle school students met or exceeded proficiency in language arts, while 47 percent did so in math. (Richard Kaplan, superintendent for the New Brunswick City School District, says, I believe we ll be a model for other districts; we re going to soar within a number of years. Woodbridge Township did not return our calls for comment.)

There s simply no consistent relationship between spending per pupil and student performance, says Eric Hanushek, a senior fellow at Stanford University who has extensively studied the correlation between school spending and student performance. The problem, says a spokesperson for the American Association of School Administrators, is that per-pupil figures don t tell you what the money s actually being spent on: Some schools have buildings that require a lot of work for upkeep, and that adds to the overall [per-pupil] cost. But frankly, he says, school systems could do a better job of sharing that fact with communities.

3. Lunch money? That s just the tip of the iceberg.

The days of eight-cent milk cartons may be as distant a memory as inkwells, but how much has America s free public school system really changed since we were kids? Plenty, it seems. For one thing, it s no longer, well, free. Sure, if you count your property-tax bill, public school never actually was. But today s schools are asking parents to kick in money for things they almost never had to pay for back in the day. Kids at Seattle s Garfield High, for example, fork over a $50 school activity fee to attend sporting events. ( If you do the math, they save a lot of money, says Peggy Jackson Williams, activities and athletic director at Garfield High. They receive discounts on going to certain games. ) And in Arlington, Mass., wannabe football or soccer players have to pony up as much as $290 not including uniform and equipment charges. (Arlington High did not return our calls for comment.)

While it may seem reasonable to ask students to contribute to the cost of their extracurricular activities, many parents are surprised to find themselves nickel-anddimed for curricular items as well. Utah high schoolers, for instance, are assessed an annual textbook fee and additional fees for courses that require lab work (such as biology and chemistry). And then there s Lafayette Elementary in Washington, D.C., where local parents kicked in the salaries for the art and music teachers a total of $150,000 in the 2006-07 school year, according to Linda Geen, copresident of the Lafayette Elementary Home and School Association. And it doesn t stop there. We donate money to the librarian to help update material, Geen says. We even help with the school s plumbing.

4. You should see how we re spending your tax dollars.

In a 2005 audit, the New York State Comptroller s Office identified $3.2 million in misspent funds at the William Floyd School District in Mastic Beach, N.Y. This included a $159,931 unauthorized salary increase for the superintendent and a $24,150 travel allowance for another administrator. And this wasn t the first time: The district had misspent an additional $1.5 million in the past. A spokesperson for the school district says the superintendent has since left the post, though it was not a result of the audit controversy ; she declined to comment on whether the other employees involved are still with the district.

In response to the audit, the New York State Comptroller s Office sent a report to the school board with recommendations for how the board could better monitor its funds. The truth is that with little state oversight, school boards can often get away with some rather odd budgeting priorities. But it s a more complicated issue than it appears, says Jeremiah Floyd, once the associate executive director for the National School Boards Association (NSBA). It s a matter of opinion what constitutes a misuse of funds, Floyd says. One person s misuse is another person s good discretion.

5. Sure, our teachers are well-versed just not in the subjects they teach . . .

Your child s teacher may have studied Spanish for years and mastered the language. But if the district needs a French teacher, guess what? says a National Education Association spokesperson. That teacher will be put to work teaching French. Sounds crazy, but the misassignment of teachers happens far more often than you may think. This is a dirty little secret that s been going on for a long, long time, says Richard M. Ingersoll, professor of education and sociology at the University of Pennsylvania. It s widespread.

True, good teachers can and do learn on the job and even become wizards in a new area of specialization over time. Nevertheless, most parents would assume their kid s taking an 11th grade trig class that s being taught by someone who studied math, Ingersoll says. It s difficult [for teachers] to teach their students subjects they don t know much about themselves. And if test scores are any indication, today s students aren t exactly benefiting from the practice: According to The Nation s Report Card, sponsored by the U.S. Department of Education, in 2007 roughly 61 percent of fourth-graders and 69 percent of eighthgraders in public schools scored below proficiency in math, while roughly 68 percent of fourth-graders and 71 percent of eighth-graders had substandard scores on reading-proficiency tests.

6. . . . and some aren t even licensed.

Lawyers have to pass the bar exam. Doctors must score well on the medical boards. Even beauticians have to prove their body of knowledge before getting a license to cut hair. But not all teachers have to demonstrate their mastery before getting their first teaching assignment. How is it that unlicensed teachers are allowed into the classroom? Normally, with limited or emergency licenses granted when school districts run into labor shortages. It s scandalous when you think about it, because there s a lot of discussion that we need better-qualified teachers, says Susan Carmon, associate director of the National Education Association. But instead, we ve been going around hiring people who don t meet the standards.

Even Indiana, which is viewed as a national pacesetter in teaching-licensure standards, issues stopgap licensing, called emergency permits. Getting one of these requires only a bachelor s degree and takes into account whether prospective candidates have taken steps to contact whatever governing body is responsible for teacher certification in their field. Just how low is the bar? The approval ratio is in the 90th percentile, says Ray Graves, the assistant director of teacher licensing at the Indiana Standards Board, who says the state issued nearly 2,000 such permits in 2007. Elizabeth Schurtz, the former director of teacher licensing at the Indiana Professional Standards Board, sees cause for concern: There s the fear that some teachers, without the proper training for the first two years, really don t have the necessary skills, she says.

7. Of course your kid aced the state achievement test. We gave him the answers.

When students at Staten Island s Susan E. Wagner High School scored well on standardized tests in 2006, parents were obviously pleased until it appeared that some teachers had tampered with the grades. It was alleged that various administrative staff, including the principal, directed the faculty to rescore several Regents Examinations, writes David Abraham, assistant commissioner of the Office of Standards, Assessment, and Reporting at the New York State Education Department. In addition, it was alleged that some scores were changed by faculty after the official scoring procedures had been completed. (Representatives of Susan E. Wagner High declined to comment.)

The motive? High test scores don t just mean that schools are doing their jobs well; they often translate into cold, hard cash. Starting with the 2006 07 school year, for instance, New York City has been handing out rewards, amounting to roughly $30 per student, that can be spent at the school s discretion. Those schools that score As on their Progress Report intended to help parents, teachers, and principals understand how well they re doing are eligible for such rewards, according to the New York City Department of Education. Says its website: Schools that get low grades will also face consequences, such as leadership changes or closure. (Susan E. Wagner High School earned a B on its 2006 07 Progress Report.)

The problem is widespread, according to David Berliner, a Regents professor in the College of Education at Arizona State University. What they re doing is tempting people, because higher stakes are involved, he says. It s the principle behind Enron; it s why athletes take steroids when the stakes get high, people cut moral corners.

8. Grade inflation means your kid learns less.

Say your child consistently earns As in math, but he got only average scores on his eighth-grade standardized math test. Is your kid just a bad standardized-test taker? Maybe. But more likely, he s just an average math student, says William L. Bainbridge, president of SchoolMatch in Columbus, Ohio. Welcome to the world of grade inflation, where students can get good marks even when they haven t fully mastered a subject. It s mindboggling to see how often this happens, says Bainbridge, whose company audits school systems across the country. While looking at some 650 districts nationwide, Bainbridge discovered that roughly 80 percent of them were guilty of grade inflation. The proof: Many schools with students who boasted grade-point averages nearing the perfect 4.0 ranked closer to average on standardized test scores.

The College Board, which administers the SAT, agrees. Since 1997 the percentage of students who report a grade average in the A range (A+, A, A-) has grown from 37 percent to 43 percent, according to a College Board spokesperson. Meanwhile, SAT scores have fallen an average five points on the verbal portion of the test and two points on the math test. The reason for the discrepancy? Grade inflation, says the College Board.

9. Got a problem with one of our tenured teachers? Too bad.

Bob Nunez was concerned that his son s second-grade teacher was verbally abusive and demeaning to the kids, he says. If a child s work wasn t to her liking, claims the Eagle, Idaho, resident, she d pull them out of their seat to the front of the room and yell at them in front of the entire class. Nunez first went to the elementary school s guidance counselor, then to the principal. But even after five other parents came forward with similar complaints, school administrators did nothing about the problem teacher, Nunez says. Finally, he and the other parents talked to the district administration. After an investigation, the situation was resolved when the teacher, at her own request, was transferred to another school in the district. Says a district spokesperson, We acknowledged there may have been concerns, but there was no evidence of wrongdoing.

It s very hard to get rid of a tenured teacher, says the NSBA s Floyd, even if they re incompetent. In most states, tenure is earned after a one- to two-year probationary period. Thereafter, districts have to follow a strict procedure before they can fire a teacher. And if that teacher puts up a fight, says Thomas Mooney, a Hartford, Conn., attorney and school-law expert, the district can end up in a costly two- to three-year legal battle. Adding to the difficulty, says Mooney, is the fact that many parents prefer to remain anonymous when it comes to teacher complaints. If you ve got a concern, go to the teacher first; if you feel the issue won t be readily resolved, it s also a good idea to notify (in writing) the principal, the district superintendent, and the school board. In other words, start leaving a long paper trail.

10. We ll let anyone into your kid s records.

The federal Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) legislated that no one but school administrators has the right to peer into your child s private school records which include everything from grades and standardized-test scores to psychological evaluations without your (or your child s) permission. But as with any major federal law, FERPA allows for several exemptions, such as cases in which there s an issued court order, or when state or local educational authorities are auditing or evaluating federal- or state-supported educational programs. Also allowed: Financial-aid sources and offices, as well as organizations conducting educational studies, other secondary schools, colleges, teachers, accrediting organizations and the list goes on can likewise examine your child s file without disclosure or your prior consent.

Now, suppose there s an error in that file. Somebody slipped in a bad evaluation that was intended to go into another file, for instance. Or the school psychologist has written an evaluation you don t want the whole world to see. Good luck trying to change or remove it. In fact, unlike the groups above, you may have difficulty accessing your child s entire file, says a spokesperson for the U.S. Department of Education s Family Policy Compliance Office, which investigates complaints of FERPA violations. And even if you do get your hands on it, the spokesperson says, the process can be difficult. Under FERPA, parents have the right to a hearing if they want to amend something in the file. But if after the hearing the school decides against making the change, there s nothing else the parents can do.