BARGAINING IS ONE

of those necessary life skills that so many of us lack.

Americans tend to be weak on this front because it's a skill we rarely use, says Reid Bramblett, a travel expert and founder of Reid's Guides. Sure, we bargain at the car dealership and during job negotiations. But for the most part, the price on the tag is the price we pay.

Unfortunately, this means we often overpay. And when traveling abroad, this weakness could be viewed as downright insulting. "It almost annoys the vendors," says Bramblett. "They would rather it be the proper social interaction."

Here are some tips on how to bargain with confidence:

• Conduct research

  . Know what the going rate is for an item before you go shopping, advises Anna Wallner, co-author of "The Shopping Bags," a shopping guide. This will help you to fix a price in your mind of what you're willing to pay.

• Let the seller be the first to name a price

  . You're at a disadvantage if you're the first to attach a dollar sign, our experts agree. After all, the seller might immediately agree, which means you've bid too high, says Bramblett.

• Don't get attached

  . Appearing too interested in an item tells the merchant that he's going to make that sale whether he bargains with you or not.

• Carry small bills and change

  . "For a seller, it's annoying when someone bargains you down to $1 and then pays with a $50 bill," says Randy Lyman, co-author of "Garage Sale Gourmet," a shopper's guide. Having a few small bills to pull out can give you leverage by setting a maximum price: "Gee, I only have two fives. Would you take $10 instead of $15?"

Different situations call for different techniques, of course. Here are some strategies for common bargaining locales:

Retail Stores
Most people don't think you can negotiate with a retail store's prices, says Wallner, but there's no harm in asking for a discount. Here, it's very important to be nice and articulate. "You really want to try to give the merchant a reason to give you a discount," she says.

The best situations for trying to snag a lower price at a retail store are when you're buying a big-ticket item, when the product is flawed, or when you've been a loyal customer to the store in question.

Retail is one area where you will pretty much always need to initiate the bargaining, but, again, don't be the first to mention a specific price. Don't specifically ask for, say, a 20% discount, Wallner advises, since it may come off as too aggressive. Instead, ask if there's any chance the item will be on sale soon, or if there's any way the sales associate could offer you a better price. Keep in mind that a discount may not always be cash off, she says you could get free delivery, extra products or some other perk.

Garage Sale

It's "very appropriate" to bargain at garage sales, says Lyman, though you are by no means required to. After all, the seller wants to get rid of his or her possessions, so prices are already incredibly low. "What's the real value of something they don't want anyway?" he asks. "This is not nuclear arms reduction talks. This is table and chairs and lamps."

Bargaining here plays on the seller's desire not to have items left unsold at the end of the day, says Lyman. If an item isn't sold, it's just one more thing for the seller to throw out or lug back inside. One technique to try is bundling your purchases. Buy several items and ask for a discount on the whole purchase rather than a specific piece. "They will be happy to get rid of so much stuff," he says.

If a seller won't come down in price and you don't want to pay what he's asking, come back at the end of the day. You risk the item having already been sold, but if it hasn't the seller may be more willing to negotiate.

Markets Abroad
Haggling abroad is very different than bargaining here in the United States, says Bramblett. "Shopping is a social interaction," he says. "It's all part of a dance." And no item is too insignificant to haggle for.

Start by browsing the market for goods you like. Once you approach a merchant, the haggling will start with some easy conversation why you're visiting, and talk about your family and the vendors'. You may be offered food or a drink. "You become friends," says Bramblett, and that's the point the relationship establishes that the vendor will offer you a fair price and an honest deal.

"Let the stall owner make the first offer," Bramblett advises. Most merchants will offer an initial price that's two times the item's value. "Look shocked," he says (even if the price seems like peanuts to you). Your counter-offer should be, at most, half of the merchant's initial offer. At this point, the vendor may look upset. He'll talk about the children he has to feed, and maybe make a few faces. Don't be swayed. "He's the pro," says Bramblett. Remember that the vendor will not sell you the item for less than he is willing to. If anyone gets the raw deal, it'll be you for not bargaining well enough.

You might use several tactics to get the merchant to offer a lower price. "Don't outright lie," says Bramblett. "Play good-cop, bad-cop." Don't, for example, tell the vendor that another merchant was asking much less unless you've already done some research and that's actually the case. Rather, tell him your significant other would be upset if you spent that much money. (Have a friend with you? Ask them to look disinterested while you haggle, or try to convince you to walk away.)

Look for flaws in the item. You don't necessarily need to point them out. A few careful glances and some subtle "hmmms" will do just fine. "You're pointing out that you're savvy and smart," he says.

Don't actually try the method of walking away until you're close to the price you'd like to pay, warns Bramblett. If you're called back with a lower price, that's the final offer. "That's the last dance step," he says.