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Not Bad: Private Lessons

It's okay if you can't tell a stockpot from a saucier. Keep your culinary cluelessness to yourself with the help of a private tutor, who will turn your kitchen into a classroom for $75 to $300 a lesson. Experts say going private allows would-be chefs to choose which skills they want to work on, rather than sticking to a set curriculum, but note that many lesson prices don't include the cost of groceries.

Getting Fancy Now: Cooking School

Becoming the talk of the local dinner party circuit, though, might require more time in front of the range. Many cooking schools offer multiday cooking classes, starting around $500 and reaching up to several thousand dollars. For instance, cooks can sign up for a five-day, $2,200 "boot camp" at the Culinary Institute of America that covers everything from knife skills to poaching. (The paper chef hat is included; overnight accommodations are not.)

Life-Changing: Culinary Vacation

But for the ultimate in gourmet cred, how about serving a little something you picked up during a culinary "study abroad"? Cooking vacations can include anything from making mole in Mexico (starting at $1,500) to scouring farmers markets in South Africa ($6,500). Some even add a dash of star power: Cooking Vacations, for one, offers an Italian trip with celebrity chef Todd English that starts at about $6,000.