Saving on Funeral Costs

"It's an emotional trap a lot of people fall into," says Joshua Slocum, executive director for the Funeral Consumers Alliance, a consumer advocate. "They think, 'I can't be cheap with my mother's funeral.'"

That guilt is enough to lead to overspending, but it also puts you in a bad position to deal with funeral directors and others merchants like florists and casket dealers. Keep in mind that even the most honest people in the business are there to make a profit. In 2004, the average cost for a traditional service was $6,500, according to the National Funeral Directors Association. Today, it costs closer to $7,000, estimates Slocum. Add in cemetery costs of $2,000 or so, and the average total bill hits a staggering $9,000.

The good news is that consumers are pushing the industry to become more transparent about costs, says Lisa Takeuchi Cullen, author of "Remember Me: A Lively Tour of the New American Way of Death." "The baby boomers are used to getting what they want as consumers," she says. As Cullen explains, this generation uses the Internet to price-compare everything, and funeral services are no exception.

Here are some tactics to help you keep costs reasonable, whether you're arranging a loved one's service, or preplanning your own.

Among other things, the rules require funeral providers to inform you of all prices either in writing or over the phone. Also, you're entitled to choose only the goods and services you want, unless they are mandated by state law. In that case, the funeral director is required to disclose any legal stipulations such as whether or not the state requires embalming (most states do not).

Then, make sure your survivors have easy access to your money so they can afford to follow through on your plans, says Kopit. Your best bet is to set up something called a pay-on-death account (a.k.a. a Totten Trust). Essentially, this is a savings account or CD that lists your survivors as beneficiaries. Since it can take years to gain access to assets held in an insurance policy or estate, these accounts will ensure that your survivors won't have to front the costs.

A patchwork of state regulations controls how much (if any) of the money you put into your preneed plan can be refunded should you move or decide to change your service plans. And most of these regulations don't favor the consumer. Florida residents, for example, can lose up to 60% of their funeral savings.

Another thing to keep in mind: Even if your plans are set in stone, prices aren't — and some providers are gifted at inflating costs. "A common one is, 'Gee, the casket your mother picked out is no longer available. You'll have to pick out a new one and oh, by the way, the price has gone up,'" says Carlson. Plans that do lock in prices can't account for everything, adds Slocum. Unless you pass away immediately after putting up the money for your plan, inflation will take hold and your survivors will face unexpected bills for everything from the cemetery costs to flowers.

After the funeral home, caskets and urns are the second-biggest funeral expense. Some funeral homes mark up prices on these items by as much as 500%, so it's well worth it to compare prices, explains Carlson. There are plenty of independent casket makers such as Trappist Caskets and Saint Meinrad, as well as online outfits (Funeral Depot and Dignified Caskets, for example). There's also, of course, bricks-and-mortar retailers. Warehouse giant Costco, for example, has been selling funeral goods since 2004.