10 Things the DMV Won't Tell You

1. "It's our pleasure to confuse you."

It seems like everyone's got a DMV horror story. For Mike Hume, a sports journalist, it came after a move from Connecticut to Virginia, when he headed to the DMV to transfer his out-of-state license. It took four visits and roughly three hours of standing in line to get it. The problem? Everything from not bringing enough or the right forms of ID to having his records confused with those of another driver of the same name. After an estimated 20 hours of DMV-related work over the course of a week, Hume finally received his license, and just in time: It was the day before his old one expired. "I consider myself a smart guy," Hume says. "But it doesn't matter. Everyone can be a victim at the DMV." (A Virginia DMV spokesperson says, "We have a high standard for meeting customer expectations, and have a large number who are satisfied.")

2. "Your used car could be a ticking time bomb on wheels."

Remember those pics of flooded car lots after Hurricane Katrina? You could end up buying one of those cars today and never know it. In the past five years, the number of flooded cars sold as "used" has doubled nationwide, according to Carfax spokesperson Larry Gamache.

3. "When it comes to car theft, we're part of the problem."

There's another way criminals take advantage of flimsy DMV car records: "VIN cloning," a kind of vehicle laundering. A stolen car's vehicle-identification number is switched with that of a junked car, and a clean title is obtained from the DMV. To combat this practice, the 1992 Anti-Car Theft Act authorized the creation of a database, known as the National Motor Vehicle Title Information System, which allows state DMVs to verify a car's title, theft and damage history before issuing a new title. But 15 years later only 30 states belong to the network, and those that don't, including California and Illinois, are havens for car thieves and chop shops. "Until all 50 states participate, the system is full of holes," says Rosemary Shahan, of Consumers for Auto Reliability and Safety, a nonprofit consumer-advocacy group.

4. "Consistency is the hobgoblin of...well, not us, that's for sure."

Rules that differ by state (and city, and county) may be a problem for law-abiding drivers, but for those looking to slip through the cracks, they're a godsend. For example, emission checks are required for registration in 13 states and in parts of another 17 states, but not at all in 20 states. And since every state has different plates, says Ashly Knapp, founder of Auto Advisors, a consultancy for car buyers, police can't tell if an out-of-state license is expired until they can see it up close. Some drivers register a car in a state with lower taxes, then drive it in their own state with expired plates. "I'm impressed how many people tell me they get away with it," Knapp says.

5. "You think getting your license is a hassle — try filing a complaint."

Every institution has problems, but the DMV is notorious for its surly service. Newlywed Laura Zhu tried to get a license with her maiden name as her second middle name. When she explained this to the DMV worker at a New York City office, Zhu says the woman yelled at her, "You have to hyphenate if you want two last names!" After speaking with a supervisor and finding out that it is indeed state policy to hyphenate, Zhu says she was sent back to the same window. That's when things got ugly. "Little Miss Doesn't-Want-to-Hyphenate wants a license now," the clerk announced loudly, then proceeded to sing a little tune as she worked: "Anderson hyphen Zhu! Anderson hyphen Zhu!"

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